Friday, June 15, 2012

Missing You

Each day, I take it for granted that I opened my eyes to see the world for the first time. That someone decided that I could take my first breath on the earth. And each day I realise that every breath that I take costs the life of a life-giver who never would give life since her own life was not given to her.

This is my story because I live. This is my story because I could have been dead.

I am the only child of a well to do family - strange how "well to do" is defined by the monetary value of possessions of my father. I go to school. The driver is nice to me. My parents buy me toys and dresses. I don't like to drink milk but I have to. It's a happy family.

A couple of months ago Mom told me we were going to have another member in our family. I was very happy I would become a big girl. But as days are passing she is becoming week. My father wants to take her to the doctor, but she doesn't want to go. I don't understand why. They are having fights. I asked her to take some medicine but she just held me and cried. My grand mom is not nice to my mom. She says it's because of me. She doesn't like me. My parents are having more and more fights. I told my mom I loved her. Yesterday she fell down the stairs when I was playing outside. She was crying. My dad came towards her to pick her up while my grand mom stood at the top of the stairs and stared. I never saw my mother on the floor... bleeding. I didn't know what to do. The servant took me away. I cried to be with my mom.

Today I went to the hospital. She looked week. She held me close to her and said, "Child! I'm sorry. I couldn't take care of your sister. And I won't be around to take care of you. You be strong my girl. I love you." With this she closed her eyes. I tried to wake her up. I wanted to tell her I am strong. I wanted to tell her I loved her too. I wanted to ask her where my sister is. But she wouldn't wake up. The nurse rushed in and screamed for the doctor.

The servant took me away from my mother. The doctors took her away from us. But I think it's not them, it's we who put my mother and my sister away from ourselves.

I live today and try to be strong as mom told. I am missing her. I am missing my sister whom I could never meet. I am missing you, who has given up on us.

6 comments:

  1. i love to read each and every entry of urs..... makes me fight wit the strange feeling that always try and cover me from inside....

    ReplyDelete
  2. I fight with a strange feeling too, and also try to give it wings and not cover it or feel covered by it. It's hard but it's something I do . For me.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  4. same here.....but what can I say...
    guess am good with words so am contributing as much as I can in my own way!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. It'll all pay off int he end. Wake up, we will. thrive, we must.

    ReplyDelete