Poisonous Silence (Part 1)

Where are we? Here! How are we? Good. Who are we? The One, The Only! But...

We are adraid. Of truth.

We want to live in the world that does not see what is real. We want to tell everyone that the "act" (we don't even want to name the act) does not exist. More importantly we want to tell ourselves that the "act" does not exist. So in our less than perfect world, we live in constant denial phase of the not so uncommon "act".

And that's what we teach our kids. That it doesn't exist.
When the child says he/she doesn't like milk, we tell them "No, milk is good for health. You must drink it."
When the child says they don't like this pair of pants, we tell them, "No. How could you not like this pair of pants? It's a good one. You must wear it."
When the child says I don't like this uncle / aunty / relative, we say "They're so good! You must go to them and shake hands."

1. What are we telling them?

When the child comes out of the shower without his/her underwear, we say "Shame! Shame! Don't come out like this."

2. What are we telling them?
.
.
.

Child: Oh.. I don't like this person but mom/dad say they're good. I don't like this.. I am confused.. Why is this happening? What did I do to deserve this? Am I bad?... I can't tell them I don't like this uncle / aunt. I must obey them... They say they love me.. I don't like it.. I am a bad child... I should be punished... I am afraid I will die... I am afraid they will hit me.. I don't want to feel anything.. I will close my eyes.. Nothing ever happened.. No one will ever know.. This can not be happening.. I don't know what this is.. I am a bad child. This is what I deserve.

1. What did we tell them?

Don't trust your instinct. Ever.
Consequence: When a child faces sexual abuse they are confused. They feel "I don't understand what is right or wrong, what I should / should not like, should or should not do. I should obey my elders. I don't feel good about this, but they must be right. How can I defy my elders?"

2. What did we tell them?

You don't show your private parts to people or talk about them.
Consequence: When a child faces sexual abuse they can not tell since they have been trained not to talk about it. They have been told, this is a bad thing to talk about. Don't be a bad boy / girl!

Our dead self forces them to drink the poisonous potion of silence.

Is it Necessary?

"It was just beer!"
"Why?"
"It doesn't even contain much alcohol."
"It's a nice beginning then."(Rolling eyes)
"I was very happy."
"You forgot a lot of things in your happiness it seems. Chose a very nice way to feel your happiness and to ruin that of people who love you."
"It was the last day of college."
"So had to be the first of your downfall? So it had to be the day when you broke your parents' trust? So it had to be the day when you ceased to be yourself?"
"My head hurts."
"Would you like some vodka now?"
"Stop it. Don't you.." (passes out)
She walks towards the drawer, takes out her dad's bottle of vodka and downs it in one gulp. It wasn't good. But necessary.

Out of Slumber 1

It's right to kill.
In an interesting conversation with an accomplice, layers of dust on me was finally beginning to give way to the light that waited on the other side of the tunnel. I have had these experiences before where the universe suddenly becomes reachable and yet, so small am I that I can only marvel at it's being.
What's right and what's wrong can only be decided by you. But what most people fail to understand is, they'll discover this "you" only when they challenge the basic assumptions governing their lives, ruling them and making a slave out of them that has no option but to submit. That slave has seen no other life and hence is so sure about their current state being the ultimate one that it's nothing less than obvious that that's all there is to life.
They call this decision-making aspect religion, culture and society. But WHERE did it come from? A story told over and over, passed on via word of mouth from one person to another, finally takes a different form all together. It may have become a work of fiction with any resemblance to a living character, place or event entirely coincidental.
So, let's clear the dust. And we may so be convinced even killing is not wrong. Death is after all the commencement of a new beginning. Food for thought.

All I could do was write

This is the story of a situation we were faced with some time back.

It's about a small business owner who runs a retail outlet in front of a ladies hostel of a reputed engineering college. She has been facing physical and mental torture for the past three years by a man who initiated family relations but had altogether different intentions in his mind. The victim is a widow, with two kids, an old mother and a non-supportive brother.

It all began when he saw her at the market-place buying stuff from the whole seller to run her shop. He approached her through a common contact and told her about his wealthy family and offered help in case she needed. She declined the help he offered, but he continued maintaining contact calling her like his own sister. He found our about her whereabouts and where she lived and brought his wife along with his son to her place to encourage family contacts which she could not refuse owing to persuasions of his wife. With time, he started making advances towards her which she complained to his wife. His wife assured her she would stop him, but it never happened. In the meanwhile, he started visiting her at odd hours in the night creating disturbances and breaking stuff in and outside her house. The neighbours got irritated and held her responsible. Instead of helping her, they asked her to leave the place and move somewhere else. They were perhaps scared of his political connections and did not want any trouble for their families. But where could she possibly go? It was the only dwelling she had. She endured and kept appealing to his wife to put an end to this as she thought herself close to his wife. But it didn't happen. Finally she appealed to the police. The police took her lightly at first, saying why she didn't approach them earlier. So she appealed to the local media. The next time he broke her door she called the media persons and they caught him red-handed. The police was also called and that was when they took some action and put him in the lock-up. He was granted bail soon owing to help from his contacts. As soon as he got bail, he attacked her and threatened to kill her child.

This man has been sexually abusing, physically torturing, and blackmailing her for quite a long time. Off late the assault has increased to such an extent that made her attempt suicide many a times. He has been intimidating her by means of physical assault at her home at odd hours in the night. She has been raped a number of times in front of her own son. She has been hospitalized a number of times, during which she could not run her shop, leading to severe financial problems. He is not scared of showcasing his brutality even in public. She is not able to stay at her own home, and has fled to a friend's place.

Finally an NGO was approached. It was by chance that a prominent local political leader could be contacted and he raised the matter to his party to which the abuser was also associated. They pressurised him to lay low and not spoil the image of the party. He has stopped for now, but it remains to be seen what happens after the elections scheduled in a couple of months.